Disquieted Minds in a Noisy World

My watch and my phone both vibrate. It’s 5:55. Great. 5 more mins until my alarm goes off. I know I should just get up but my body won’t conceed. I doze and … Eehhhttt! Eehhtt! Eehhtt!! I’m one of those people who could live a content life without a tv in the entire house, but we have seven. As I walk into the hall I realize SportsCenter has been left on two of them overnight- one in the living room to my right and in the FROG to my upper left. The SportsCasters yell at me in surround sound as I make the coffee. I have 25 emails and only 3 texts messages but they need responses. It would be easier to focus but I was up at 3:15-5:05 which is commonplace since my 40th birthday. The 6 yr old just woke up and is asking me to fix the PlayStation. There are 5 remotes and I can never remember which one it is. “Which HDMI is it connected to again?” Ugh.

While I eat breakfast, my husband sits down with me which is a rare occurrence, and he starts a different topic of conversation after each reel on his phone flips through. So far we’ve covered the weather, politics, mass shootings, a new Grammy award winner, and baseball. Our 12 yr old gallops through and sticks a phone between my nose and my oatmeal because “This reel on YouTube: it’s hilarious and you have to see it”. 

Now it’s time to leave for work. The noise level is different from the kitchen to the driveway. I hear a few cars as they drive by. In some, I can hear the bass of their radios. The birds are in 8D. It just recently rained, so they are out in full force this morning. There’s a frog singing somewhere near the trash bins. In the car, I try to decide between a training, a podcast, an audiobook, worship, or Greta van Fleet. I’m trying to get certified in a new mind-body protocol and there’s a new book on body energetics….So I land on the training. The car provides a steady stream of white noise, I sshhusshh shhusshh through various puddles and buzzz buzzz buzzz over the bridge. In a 27 minute trip to work, this morning I’ve been passed by two ambulances and a police car for three separate incidents. 

Upon arrival to work, I’m greeted by 5 strategically placed noise machines that I flip on one-by-one in front of each office. We add noise so we can’t hear noise. I hear the AC whoosh on as I drop the thermostat. The lobby fills with worship music because it’s set on a timer to come on at 8 am.

And if the power suddenly went out,

I’d be in total silence.

For 5 minutes, or less. 

Until it flickered back on or until I grabbed by phone and checked messages and feeds.

When is the last time you were in complete silence? What did you hear? 

LOOKING BACK

Think back in human history just 150 years ago. Step outside. What can you hear? Step inside your average domicile, built in 1863, it’s 1875. There’s no hum of the refrigerator, soft hum of a laptop, but cows lowing in the distance. Farmer Bill’s rooster is enthusiastically welcoming the day. But no manufactured songs. There were no cars. In 20 years there would be 1500 in the world.

People would have to work as hard to find manufactured sound as we would have to work to find a manufactured silence. Noise cancelling devices flood the market, so we can listen to one main sound while the rest are being muffled. Some of those muffled are members of my family. I flee the world around me for silence. That’s dissociation. 

At first, with organic dissociation the surrounding world goes away and goes silent, but with each new fracture, it’s gets noisier and more, honestly, more opinionated. An untraumatized person can identify various streams of thoughts and ideas and to do lists going on in their mind at any given time. For a traumatized person, the voices can be so loud, it rings their ears. Someone somewhere in their head might be continually crying. Someone is critical and scary. If you thought all the choices at Starbucks were overwhelming, have various parts of yourself disagree on what you want to order.

So I’ll ask again, when is the last time you were in complete silence? What did you hear?

Our modern world, has a hearing problem. Hearing was easier in a rural life. Not that there wasn’t trauma and mental debates back then, but it was not overlayed with machines and EMFs. Walking from one valley to another, talking to your sheep, listening to the wind move from field to trees and back. 

One might hear God. 

One might hear Inspiration. One might hear Direction. 

Our world is desperate for Clarity. For Peace. 

LOOKING FORWARD

I remember being on a Healing Touch Training retreat and one of the participants had a miraculous experience of healing. Tears streaming down her face, she said, “It’s quiet. My brain has never been this quiet. I didn’t have multiple voices arguing about what we should wear or that I was hungry but we’d disagree on what we felt like eating. You guys, it’s been so long.”

Isn’t interesting that our body’s natural responses to trauma, are attempts to reduce the noise of life? Brain fog blankets our thoughts to neutralize the sheer volume of them. Lethargy encourages the body to move at a more natural pace or not at all. Dissociation breaks off trauma in to unrecognizable pieces. Unfortunately the remaining distortions can play on repeat when triggered. Routine is regained through the employed coping mechanisms. “When something feels like trauma, I always…” “This is familiar so I just…” We move in our triggered behaviors seemlessly. We are just triggered. But it’s familiar and familiar is physiologically comforting. 

Contrarily, there is nothing more uncomfortable and unfamiliar as healing. Healing is disruptive. It displaces us. Often times, the exposed trauma fights against us. How do we invite a traumatized or burnt out person seekly safety and quiet to heal in an unfamiliar place, looking at stuff we have worked so hard to silence or ignore, surrounded by noise machines and lobby music?

What if we took therapy out of the office? 

Benefits of Trauma-informed, somatic retreats:

Less Distractions.

Some people live alone without the number of technology-loving individuals as I have in my family. With a few preliminary notifications and modifications to their own space, they could find comfort in doing therapy in their own home. They wake up each morning to familiar surroundings and don’t experience as much disorientation. Some people however, prefer not to unpack their trauma in their own house. They don’t feel their space is conducive or accommodating for guests. They don’t want to be burdened to keep their normal life obligations at bay. 

Other reasons people might want to go to a therapy retreat could be like what happens when I go on vacation. I find it’s easier to navigate a kitchen stocked with only a few essential items. Even if that limits what I am able to do, I am not disappointed. The elimination of options is part of the ensuing peace.

Personalized care

When a counselor is seeing 5 or more clients a day, it takes a divided mental effort to prepare for each client, transition between them, and keep each narrative with the right client. 

More privacy, Less Labels.

Without billing insurance, length of treatment is not dictated. Diagnoses are not attached to your standing EHR. More and more professions are requiring mental and/or physical fitness audits to maintain or promote in certain positions. Your personal process and information stays private. I maintain the same level of confidentiality as all clergy and clinicians.

Expedited care

Studies have shown that a day long intensive can replace a month and a half of therapy. A week intensive replaces a year. 

Less drop out

Once an individual comes to an individual retreat, not only are they happily accommodated, they are less likely to leave the process of therapy than if they were coming weekly for an hour.

Less expensive

A week retreat is less expensive than a year of traditional therapy.

Less chance for disruptions

In your own space without additional team members or admin on site, there’s less chance of interruption, less need for noise machines, and less ground keepers walking by the window and looking in. Yes, this happens at my office. Also the corporate trash trucks come on Wednesday and make significant racket for my 10:00 person. 

Meals are included. 

I don’t know about you, but I believe all activities, even therapy, could come with snacks. (And a massage by a licensed masseuse for that matter – but that is an optional add-on)

There is a finite end in sight.

Have you ever gone to therapy and wondered how long the process was going to take? No therapist is able to give you a time-table for desired results. While there is no guarantee on results, there is an end on day 5 with a closing session ceremony. There is an accomplished feeling and a peace that while there may be reflection on the process, one can move on with the next season of life, knowing that they have done enough work for this time. Your counselor will talk to you about recommended resources if you desire suggestions on coaching, leisure, or spirituality as you walk out what you’ve learned.